Her mom shares final message about early detection
Nobody knows your body better than you do.
So, if you feel something’s not right, follow your instincts, even if it doesn’t seem logical.
Kelli McConnell learned that all too well and left that message for all women, especially those younger than 40.
Kelli was 37 years old when she went to her doctor because she had a weird feeling in her breast.
“And they said ‘Oh Kelli, it’s just fibroids; don’t drink coffee,’” Kelli’s mother, Sheila McConnell, said. “I remember her calling me and saying, ‘I can’t have coffee and I just don’t know what I’m going to do;’ because she loved coffee.”
The uncomfortable feeling never went away, and eight months later Kelli was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. Less than a year after that, Kelli died; her vivacious life tragically stolen from her family and countless friends by triple negative breast cancer.
“Her message to me before she passed was ‘Mom, please tell women to get a mammogram and to check their breasts,’” Sheila recalled. “She was an advocate of listening to your body and to push the doctors for what you think your body is telling you.”
During the brief time between diagnosis and when her body succumbed to the cancer, Kelli made efforts to fight for health insurance payments of mammograms for women under the age of 40.
Another goal she planned was to help others, especially single mothers.
“She said ‘when I get better, I’m going to help some single woman, and I’m going to buy her a car,’” Sheila said. “Because she had already donated her car to somebody and she was always donating something to help people. She wanted to help people that couldn’t afford to help themselves.”
Sheila, Kelli’s father Robert McConnell, and Kelli’s sisters Natalie Crosby and Kenna McConnell are fulfilling Kelli’s dream of educating women and helping others who can’t help themselves. Through The Cancer Foundation, the McConnells are primarily helping others who are battling cancer without the financial resources and familial support that Kelli had. Based in Athens, The Cancer Foundation is a nonprofit organization that helps alleviate the financial burden of cancer for eligible patients who live in 25 counties in middle and northeast Georgia, including Morgan, Putnam, and Greene counties.
Kelli’s bright light
“Kelli had a light that just shone,” Sheila said. “She’d meet every person at the treatment center and talk to them and encourage them. She never complained that she was sick.”
After graduating from the University of Georgia, Kelli spent time as an Au Pair in France, farming in Hawaii, yachting in Alaska, event planning in Seattle, and hang-gliding at Lookout Mountain.
“She was all over – she was free, free, a free spirit,” Sheila said, shaking her head with a smile. “Always on an adventure.”
When Kelli’s youngest sister, Kenna, came down with a chronic autoimmune disease, Kelli immediately left her adventuresome travels to go back home to Athens and take care of her sister.
“She said ‘I’ve got to take care of my sister. I’m going to teach her how to eat right and care for her body,’” Sheila said. “The ironic thing is Kelli was the one who ended up getting sick. And then Kenna moved into Kelli’s house and took care of her and was with her when she passed. Even though they were born eight years apart, they were inseparable sisters.”
Before her diagnosis, Kelli worked at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Athens as the director of religious exploration. She loved to spread joy and never met a stranger.
“Everybody who met her loved her,” Sheila said.
“At her celebration of life, about 400 people showed up in Athens. People came from all over the country and one of her friends came from Europe. I was amazed. But, she touched a lot of people’s lives.”
Kelli’s courageous fight When doctors originally told Kelli her discomfort was just fibrocystic breast disease and she didn’t need a mammogram because she was only 37, she continued to enjoy her life as she always had. But as the days passed, the tender lump grew rather large and she returned to the doctor.
On Christmas Eve, she received the phone call that she had Stage 3c cancer. It was a Friday.
“Couldn’t they have waited until Monday after Christmas was over to call her?” Sheila said. “I mean, Kelli was on pins and needles with worry, so she was glad, but it ruined Christmas for all of us.”
Due to the cancer’s aggressiveness, Kelli underwent “really strong” chemotherapy treatments for eight months, followed by double mastectomy.
Her special friend, Jason Huffer, took her under his wing and cared for her during that time. Kelli had volunteered for Huffer’s foundation and they had formed a friendship which grew into “a love story,” Sheila said.
“And then after all of her treatments, she rang the bell and we thought this was the end of her cancer,” Sheila said. “But then she came to the lake (Lake Oconee) and said ‘Mom, my jaw hurts.’” Kelli decided her jaw pain must be due to neck or back problems so she went to a chiropractor, but got no relief. So, she went back to her doctor, who told her it was probably TMJ. But Kelli had learned from her past experience and knew her body was telling her something.
“So she told them ‘I want to be scanned,’” Sheila said.
The scan revealed the cancer had spread and there were eight cancerous lesions in her brain. Sheila said Kelli’s dad, Robert, took her to MD Anderson and to Yale Cancer Center for the best treatments available, including a trial treatment.
“She didn’t like MD Anderson because she said it was too sterile,” Sheila noted. “But that’s what they are--they’re a hospital, they don’t do warm and fuzzy.”
When Kelli asked if she could do the treatments in Athens, they preferred she stay there.
“She said ‘No, I’m going home. I want to be with my dogs, and I want to be near my comforts—my dogs and Jason.’ So, she came back here,” Sheila said.
Kelli had rescued the two mixed-breed dogs, named Dash and Kirby.
The love between them was mutual and they accompanied her on outdoor adventures in the mountains before she got cancer. When the effects of treatments prevented Kelli from being able to care for them, a dog walker was hired to help.
Dash needed a little more attention because he’d had hip surgery. Sheila said she’ll never forget the day that Kelli told her she needed to rehome Dash because she didn’t have strength to care for him.
“It just broke my heart,” Sheila said. “I knew then on that day that she knew she was going. She also told me, ‘when I order a pair of pants on Amazon, I look at it and think, ‘will I be here when these pants arrive?’ It just broke my heart.”
Kelli’s love legacy
Although she faced the reality of the outcome of her illness, Kelli continued to ensure she was helping others.
“When she was getting ready to pass, she said ‘Mom, look for me everywhere and remember: take that walk, go for that ride, live your life because you don’t know when it’ll be the last time.’
She taught me a lot of lessons about how life is for us to get the most out of. …. And there’s a lot of good that has come out of this,” Sheila said as she pointed to a flyer about a fundraiser in Kelli’s name. “I’ve met a lot of supportive people at The Cancer Foundation and made friends there. And now one of them, Joey, has cancer and that’s so sad.
He’s the same age as Kelli was.
“But a lot of people can’t afford the treatments Kelli got if they’re paying their bills and fighting cancer,” she continued. “That’s the reality, but we don’t see that here at Lake Oconee.”
Sheila said the social worker at Kelli’s oncologist told them about The Cancer Foundation and Kelli wanted her family to raise money for the non-profit. So, they formed Kelli’s Light & Legacy, and host fundraisers in conjunction with TCF.
“So I wanted to get the word out here in Greene, Putnam, and Morgan counties because TCF does support people in these counties,” said Sheila, who lives in Harbor Club in Greene County. “And the thing I like about TCF is they don’t just say ‘here’s some money’ and enable people. They actually pay their bills directly or give them a gas card to get to treatments.”
Cancer patients are referred to TCF by their oncologists or hospice centers. In 2024, TCF paid 2,432 bills for 856 cancer patients in northeast and middle Georgia.
Once a patient’s eligibility is confirmed, the patient is allowed $1,000 for the year. The patient selects where that money goes, and TCF submits the payments directly to the creditors.
The most requested services are transportation, utilities, and rent or mortgage payments.
Medical expenses, co-pays, prescriptions and medical treatment are not covered by TCF.
Food costs are not originally on the list of services provided, but so many patients requested food assistance that TCF began a program that provides emergency bags of food to cancer patients.
The bags contain food specifically for people undergoing cancer treatments, and are filled by donations from community or civic organizations, schools, churches or individuals.
This November marks four years since Kelli’s death. To keep her legacy alive, the McConnell’s are holding another fundraiser for TCF in Kelli’s name.
“Kelli lived with a fire in her soul, always giving, always lifting others up, always reminding us to notice the blessings of God’s grace,” they wrote on the donation webpage.
“Even though she is no longer with us physically, her light has not gone out. It shines within us.
Through Kelli’s Light & Legacy, her giving heart and generous spirit live on.”