The things you learn on this job. Someone called PromoGuy, who it turns out, isn’t a guy at all but a company that has something to do with sports betting, says Georgians feel down for an average of 39 minutes after their favorite sports team suffers a disappointing result. It turns out that we are well above – or below – the national average. According to the guys at PromoGuy, Americans in general feel down for 2.5 hours after a bad sports outcome – or 2 hours and 38 minutes if you want to be precise.
PromoGuy says they wanted to share this with us after conducting a nationwide survey a couple of months ago that involved 2,137 American sports enthusiasts. Of all participants, 60% were male, 38% were female, 1% non-binary, and 1% identified as something other than all of the above, which I don’t understand but have chosen not to pursue, lest I should find out. The average age of respondents was 41 years.
So, which state has the biggest snit when they lose a game? West Virginia. People in West Virginia feel down for an average of 17 hours.
In their defense, since their economy, education, health care, and infrastructure rank at the bottom of almost every ranking, you can see why they would want to spend 17 hours thinking about something other than their quality of life. If you are not affected by a serious case of eye-glaze at this point, PromoGuy says to tell you the second-grumpiest state when their team loses is Missouri. They spend 12 hours and 33 minutes obsessing over a loss.
That surprises me since the Kansas City Chiefs reside in Missouri and don’t often lose. Maybe we should send them the Atlanta Falcons and give them something to really get upset about?
It seems the third-crankiest state is Montana. Montana? I find that hard to believe.
With all the majestic mountains and pristine fly-fishing spots available to the locals, they worry 12 hours and 30 minutes about losing a ballgame?
Kentucky ranks fourth in the disgruntled loser category, which doesn’t surprise me at all. It is all about basketball in Kentucky. The University of Kentucky has won eight national titles and finished second twice, and its boosters don’t take kindly to losing. PromoGuy says Kentuckians will fret an average of 8 hours and 53 minutes. After that, it’s time to take action.
Connecticut rounds out the top-five sore losers at 5 hours and 33 minutes.
What do they have to be sore about? UConn men have won two consecutive national basketball championships (six in all) and the UConn women have won 11 NCAA titles, including four in a row from 2013 through 2016.
What do the citizens of Connecticut want? Get a life, people.
What about the other end of the spectrum?
The state that recovers the quickest to a loss, according to PromoGuy, is Nebraska. They spend 22 minutes on the subject. That figures.
Their once-proud football team can’t beat two eggs in a pan these days. They are 38-55 over the past decade. I guess the locals say, who cares?
Interestingly, Mississippi is the next least-stressed state.
Supposedly, they get over a loss in just 25 minutes. Forgive me for questioning PromoGuy, but I am betting that’s as wrong as turning left on a red light. I can guarantee you the loser of the annual Egg Bowl between Ole Miss and Mississippi State doesn’t get over it in 25 minutes.
That is serious business in Mississippi – easily a year’s worth of bragging rights. It takes 25 minutes just to realize somebody is going to have 365 miserable days until the next Egg Bowl.
As for the Great State of Georgia, we have so many things to be grateful for that we don’t spend much time brooding over a loss. And when your alma mater loses two football games in three years, you have to work hard to stay upset even for 39 minutes.
Having shared this information with you, I hope PromoGuy will consider a survey on why we need to know this stuff. I’m betting they won’t.
You can reach Dick Yarbrough at dick@dickyarbrough.com or at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139